Lady fAyth`
5/27/2004 09:00:00 AM
Sunday, May 23, 2004
these days, I dont really know what's coming outta my gap after a long and supposedly "inspiring" talk. like now, I have absolutely nth to post although, I have so many things to mention. ahh contradicting! maybe I'm not at the same frequency as alot of other people I know, so somehow, conversations dont seem to register in my mind like a bullet shot.
coffee wasnt as fulfilling I must say. (matong, if you're reading this. ah, I'm sorry!) it didnt feel like I've said anything. it's so odd. I dont know what's in my head other than mugging during the hols. people are gonna find me crazy but hey, reality checks in when I fail 4 subjs outta 8. something has to be done before it's too late!
so, matong and I went to coffee club to luncheon. ooh expensive treat for ourselves! I had: ice mocha vanilla, garlic prawns AND we shared a muddy mud pie. whoa. everything tasted heav'nly! muacks! hung pout at kinokuniya (as per normal). yupp I bought "five people you meet in heaven" at borders and she got herself some devil and prada thingie. haha faulty memory I have.
I need a clear mind. I hope I could think before I speak.
btw, I was so fascinated when a book, all abt "punch-lines to ruin your day"! haha they're so blunt! here goes:
"people are stupid. this includes your kids."
"beyong mere attraction, how do you expect someone to fall in love with you? why, the notion is preposterous."
"you have nothing to offer a potential mate."
"the 9 stages of love:
1)attraction
2)infatuation
3)surrender
4)commitment
5)malaise
6)attraction to others
7)jealousy
8)abandonment
9)heartbreak"
Lady fAyth`
5/23/2004 07:41:00 PM
Monday, May 17, 2004
argh. I am a bitch. fuck it.
I am not on the same frequency as everybody. nobody would be able to comprehend my intentions today. Silence is now my bestfriend. I dont hafta speak much because I am nvr heard. so if I would to ask YOU, "do you share my sentiments?" what would your answer be?
I am so confused.
Lady fAyth`
5/17/2004 10:52:00 PM
Thursday, May 13, 2004
goodness! the outlook of my blog is just not portraying my charactor nor personality. this will be for temporary!
had a dream the night before. I was at a open space (sentosa I assume), walking under a hovering dark cloud. the entire patch of grey just drifted away and I felt the warm sunshine!
I guess the same thing happened in the morning when we were on our way to sentosa. the gloomy sky over the sea was freaky. it seemed as though something very terrible was gonna happen. we all prayed for the sun to come out. haha (I see prayers entering into our daily lives more often now). we were at palawan, so meanwhile while waiting for the sun to shine, we rocked the bridge! hehe. we were singing camp songs like: "your side" and "Father Abrahan". lol that was so lame but crazy! the people on shore were staring at us. then XJ, zel, jen and I went to the 711 to grab a bite. hee. the nasi lemak wasnt too bad, but the spoons were fragile!
when the sun came out, GAWWSH! the warmth was heavenly! 9 of us laid down in a row, tanning and laughing away like mad. so here comes 3 irritants from hell: they said, "xiao jie, qi chuang le. qi lai xiao bian le." gawwsh what was that for? well, they're forgiven for being cheeky for the first time. (I would have made them drink my urine!) after awhile, juls, XJ, shimin, isa and amelia went to tan at the cheese and the guys came next to jen, zel, mandy and I to play beach ball. SHEESH. they thought they were so cool? bloodyhell. they were interupting our tanning spirits! when we were abt to move away, he asked mandy, "xiao jie. wo men ke yi zui qiu ni ma?" and mandy thought it meant, "can we play soccer with you?" lol MADNESS. those 3 idiots had no idea that 3 out of 4 of us failed chinese! lol. damn ironic.
9 of us continued lazing around the area, suntanning without the disturbance of the hell-sent. until we took a walk to where another group of our friends, who were coincidentally there. mandy refused to be my lesbian partner! so I turnd to jen and said, "they dont wanna be lesbian partners with me. so you'll be mine!" haha. then came one of the son-of-the-devils, he replied to what I said, "wo ke yi zuo ni de partner!" (somewhat. that's what he meant.) gawwsh! he was "aying" us from one end of the beach to the other! damn it. zel went like, "I didnt know girls are called AY!" ahh. a bunch losers. seriously, I wouldnt have the same impression of them if they were to ask for our contacts (quoted from mandy). anyhow, it was fruitful because all of us got our tan. it would be even more perfect if I had a volley ball to play with! haha I'm not exactly great at it either.
all of us left earlier than expected. mandy, XJ, jen, juls and myself went to gardens market to eat! haha. goodness. the food is shiok shiok! hehe. jen and I shared satay, otah and meepok! hehe. it was fabulicious! mandy took a vid of us engrossed in our own activities.
I only realized that my chest is BURNT when I took my bath. hee. mummy better not see it. she'd scream!
Lady fAyth`
5/13/2004 10:01:00 AM
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
zel, xj, jen, mandy and I went on a bikini hunt! hehe gawwsh it was taxing. thought I could get a good buy at roxy but nay. everything was either ugly or way above my budget. dang. went to "buttcheeks" and "tanlines" and still couldnt get something cheaper. ahh alas! fareast! haha. that place may seem bloody run down but it's got the best stuff at it's lowest cost! hehe. woohoo! I didnt get what I wanted but I shant be complaisant because the one that I purchased isnt too bad at all!
gawwsh. I'm abt to fall aslp now. cant wait for tmr.
I'm still in love with you...
Lady fAyth`
5/11/2004 10:18:00 PM
Monday, May 10, 2004
messed up
all the wailing and yelling at the mount vernon has really got me confused. I'm afraid that if happens to someone so close to me (again), I wouldnt know how to react. the only scenario I get in my head is to cry and faint. there's so much fear bottled up in me and I just dont know how to let it out. who would listen? if I were to be somebody else, I wouldnt know what to say, to comfort myself.
it used to be that boy, who lends his ears to me whenever I needed to pour out my heartfelt thoughts, but things have changed. nothing's gonna be the same again. I'm not even close to the old-self I used to be. I seem to be colder and more ruthless at circumstances when I cant hold back my rage. there are always double-voices in my skull, fighting over ONE decision to make.
I need to tell you EVERYTHING. I need YOU.
I never got used to keeping my sorrows and joys to myself. maybe it's because you never wanted me to. you knew how piercing it would be to silence every nerve that wants to scream or yell. all that hurt you've been put through has flawed you. yet, you're still so perfect to me.
Lady fAyth`
5/10/2004 08:55:00 PM
Sunday, May 09, 2004
it's mummy's day and it's time I acknowledge the fears that have been brewing inside.
I keep getting negative thoughts abt mummy recently, and it makes me feel like crap! it reccurs so often in my head, that I feel insecure. (I dont know how can I continue posting.) I'm beginning to take back all the mean actions I've done to her, and now, I just wanna be her perfect daughter. gosh. nothing is happening but I'm crying! I definitely need prayers to counter this raging ponder. I'm afraid that it's not a matter of worrying.
at cathechism, my grp was discussing how we can counter: individualism. it's a sin that's so accepted by society that I thought, it was only humane to think it's right. maybe "giving" unconditionally can make someone so vulnerable to ostracism and rejection, but "it's through giving that we recieve" like my mummy always says. unless you pay it forward, lesser people would know what it's like to recieve. we've been given so many gifts from God so why cant we pay it forward? it's prolly a way to spread Catholism.
baby lynn wished me happy mummy's day and bought me a gift! such a pie! awwe. muacks.
Lady fAyth`
5/09/2004 02:46:00 PM
Sunday, May 02, 2004
oh mann. I was like making a fool outta myself at cathechism. sheesh. jesse was being a nut the whole time! blah. I dont really feel like I'm journeying to my confirmation day. sigh.
went for mass with ben, dodo, sarah, kat, rese and avril. as usual, we're talking during homily. blah. not too good. after mass, we went to bk to have breaky (again). haha. here comes the hilarious part. this baby sat at the next table and sarah and I were trying to get his attention. guess what? he smiled and chuckled at sarah at first, but when he turned to me, he frowned! gawwsh. it wasnt only for once! ugh. but of cos, he had a very cute frown. haha! I hope I wouldnt give him nightmares.
back to church, salt wasnt fun at all. we had to listen to a talk on vocations and the life stories of bro damien, fr pang and sister. dang. I was paying attention of cos. kat, dada, brinston, sarah and I went to town to grab mummy's day prez! haha. I bought a ring and engraved "I LOVE MUM" on it. hehe I think it's the best gift I've given my mummy thus far. I actually dont know what kat got for her mum. it might be a pair of earrings. hehe!
anyhow, kat was definitely persuasive to get me to watch "50 first dates"! was suppose to return home earlier this afternoon to mug for chinese but I stayed to watch with them. hehe. the show was hilarious and a tear-jerker at some parts. to have a guy to plan first dates every single day, is just so sweet. awwe. haha. after the show, we dined at secret recipe! whoops. haha! sinful. I had blueberry cheescake! YAY. it was HEAVENLY. umm um umm um UMM! haha. sarah had choc marshmallow. like, DOUBLE-SIN! lol. I think kat had brownie with ice-cream! UNFORGIVABLE sin. hehe. just kiddin.
I guess I'll hafta get back to my book. better make myself complete everything for chinese tonight!
my heart is darker and colder now... ... ...
Lady fAyth`
5/02/2004 07:03:00 PM
